Warm Bodies

Warm Bodies

------Is all I need.

Spent too long neglected and it affected my esteem. 
Stopped trying to be heard or seen instead
doused myself in gasoline for the fire-

chasing liars and 
charring things I love,
burning all that I desire. 

Warm bodies like new hobbies. 
Lingering in lobbies;
Couple nights of fun 
before I'm on the run.
Must be faster than the bullets of their gun.
Dogs barking in my chest
guarding my heart and and at best shredding apart intruders through bullet proof vests.

Walls higher than even I can fly.
Broke my shit for mom and again for a guy. 
Fell hard from that sky without a reason why -
but maybe is the reason why.

Each reaching hand is met with a cry; 
Bite down, break bones before
they pry.
How dare you try to take a peek inside!
-
I 
push the buttons on this ride 
so I know exactly when you'll scream
and can’t hide.



------Missed my shot.
Forgot how to love and shoved so much shit down. 
My face affixed into a frown and happily wore the crown.
Clown.
When will I turn my heart around?
My mind walking different directions than my feet,
eyes to the street looking for lost kings,
bumping into everything.
Lost my love in the scuffle
and ruffled my feathers,
leather belt a noose to my hips where pants hang so loose.
Gravity betraying me in the moments meant for flight;
Fell hard only to feast on every fool in sight. 
Insatiable appetite for a fight,
firing beneath these fragile fiends because my brokenness is beyond deafening. 
Makes it impossible to love anything.

This is what it's like to die faster than time,
fly on the same plane
yet in different chimes.
Clock strikes in the face; 
Still the pain I can't erase. 
Lines spill into the next,
side effects of my distress.

Warm bodies, pawns in my chess.
My bed
My head 
bred a big beastly mess. 

[Kristina Rose Garcia 2021]